THAT “CONFUSED” GUARDIAN JOURNO LIST IN FULL:
(This is getting ridiculous. When I started compiling these, I thought I’d max out at half a dozen – now there are 15, and some are repeat offenders. Thanks to all eagle-eyed contributors.)
Who would you vote for for most fatuous Guardian anti-Corbyn journalist?
1. Polly Toynbee for hand-wringingly revealing a secret dyed-in-the-wool radicalism which presumably also caused her to support the SDP back in the 80s.
2. Patrick Wintour for uncritically recycling anti-Corbyn propaganda from “a Labour source”.
3. Jonathan Freedland, leading member of the white liberal smuggerati, for dismissing young peoples’ enthusiasm for Corbyn as narcissism.
4. Jonathan Jones, for linking Corbyn to the crimes of Josef Stalin.
5. Daniel Boffey for arguing that Corbyn has distracted Labour from being an effective opposition, in other words, for not being able to see beyond the end of his nose. If only they could be liberated from this pointless contest so they could abstain!
6. Michael White for the penetrating observation that Corbyn possibly used to, if memory serves, wear sandals with socks.
7. Nick Cohen for being the mad dog, visceral left-hater in the pack, veering from the surreal (Corbyn threatens workers’ rights) to the shouty, accusing him of planting “kisses on the backsides of half the tyrannies on the planet.”
8. Martin Kettle for going beyond Jones’ fantasy of Corbynite communist atrocities, all the way back to the millennial Fifth Monarchy Men of the English Revolution.
9. Andrew Rawnsley for winning the alliteration consolation prize for “Labour downs a deadly cocktail of fatalism, fury and fantasy.”
10. Suzanne Moore for seeing Blairite splittism as inevitable via cod psychology, and for making it clear, a la Toynbee, that she would support Corbyn if she wasn’t so much smarter than all the rest of us.
11. Hadley Freeman, on day release from the “Lifestyle” section, for describing Donald Trump as “America’s answer to Jeremy Corbyn”.
12. Matthew d’Ancona for his version of the Freedland attack on the young (apparently they’re all living in the moment or something) via pseuds corner semiotics.
13. Nicholas Watt for his attempt to make Corbyn seem an idiot by attributing an interviewer’s question about “naughty people” to Corbyn himself. Good effort!
14. Sonia Sodha for her wise advice for the Blairites: “they need to explain why a Labour government – without spending more – offers better answers than the Conservatives.” You’ve cracked it, Sonia – join the Burnham/Cooper/Kendall team.
15. Jessica Elgott for the best headline: “Corbyn caught looking gloomy on night bus”.
Thanks for all the suggestions, and I know it’s really difficult to choose.