Bigot sorry for “historian” claim


Professor Niall Ferguson apologized today for having pretended that he was a serious historian.

“When I look back at the books I have written, I can now see that they are a collection of reactionary prejudices masquerading as well-researched historiography” he said.


Professor Ferguson made his name by arguing against the prevailing historical views on for instance the First World War and the British Empire. “I mean, to hold that the slaughter of World War One was justified, or that the Empire was of huge benefit to Johnny Native, how could anyone believe that?” he joked.


Secondary school history teacher Jack Williams commented “To be honest, it’s a liberation. I don’t need any more to explain to a class of students from all over the world why an established author thinks Britain civilized them.”


Ferguson admitted that he had been attracted by the fame of other television “historians”. “I saw David Starkey able to strut his bigoted stuff all over the media on the basis of some crap pop-historical bios of the kings and queens of England, and I was jealous. I mean, as a poof, he doesn’t care about the future, so how could anyone trust him with the past?”

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